For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. (Romans 8:14-17)I don’t believe I have ever shared this in writing. So here we go –for the glory of God!
Shortly after I got saved (surrendered my life to the Lord, acknowledged I was a sinner and needed Jesus to forgive my sins) I began a battle that lasted for about a year. I didn’t start the battle; I did not welcome it or searched for it. It just happened.
I began to have episodes of fear. I don’t even know what I was scared off. I remember speaking with my husband and sharing my heart with him. Deep thoughts and profound feelings pouring out; times of repentance and self-reflection.
I could not pick up the Bible because I felt condemned. I had vivid wicked nightmares; mornings were difficult for I feared the attack would start all over again.
It wasn’t that I was in sin. The issue was a voice that condemned me.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
As a new believer I did not know how to fight or even pray.
I went through a valley that I believed no one could rescue me. No one knew what I was enduring except my husband. I recall traveling to Florida to visit my cousin. Through tears I confided in her some of what I was struggling with. The incredible thing was I was not even sure what I was afraid off or struggling with. You see, the enemy always tries to convince you that you are alone; sometimes we believe it.
I could not put my finger on it. I could not trust my own thoughts.
She had me call a wise friend of hers; a seasoned women in the Word that reassured me that I would overcome. She poured out Scripture so that I could meditate on it; we prayed and back to NY I went.
I struggled for a year.
This spiritual battle manifested to the physical and one day I broke out in hives.
During the times of anguish I would huddle close to my husband. When I could not believe that I was going to be alright, I began to trust the the words that he spoke to me. God used my husband who is kind and gentle to be a compass of reason.
Though reading the Bible felt useless, I knew enough that the Word was a weapon. It did not matter if I understood it, got revelation or if it was used by the enemy to accuse me –I read it!
It was a live-saving drink!
I share this because after all these years, I can look back and testify that this was a spiritual fight for me. As a newborn baby I did not know how to war in the spirit. There are things we don’t see that wreak havoc in our lives, primarily in our mind.
If you find yourself in a place of confusion, condemnation or chaos in your mind reach out to someone you trust, a helper. For me the helper was my husband, someone I could lean on. He observed me and could pray and at times just hold me.
When we are in the midst of a battle it’s difficult to orient yourself. The helper can be a great guide to stability; a reassurance that this to will pass. We must trust someone to confide in. It could be a friend, a sister, perhaps a counselor or Christian therapist. We need someone to intercede in prayer and also the ear of someone we trust. Above all else never put down your SWORD –the Mighty Word of God. Listen to the Word, read it, meditate on it.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17)
Sometimes it seems like the Word of God does not have an answer when our minds are under attack. I can testify that the Word of God teaches us how to win the fight. When the enemy brings confusion, everything seems mixed-up, and misunderstood. The enemy can bring us to a place of misconception, a false reality. The Word of God will speak truth into our lives and indeed I testify that he brings Victory!
Some Scriptures to meditate on:
“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” (Romans 8:16)
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 timothy 1:7)
“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:10-12)
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:16-17)
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:11)
This too shall pass. Victory is coming –surrender to the Helper!
I read this recently: This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
"Laughter is good medicine." (Proverbs 17:22)
God bless you!~Liz
